Torn Pages
by VanillaWhisper
Summary: Tezuka thought nothing would ever fill his emptiness..Fuji proves him wrong. TezukaFuji


Tezuka Kunimitsu stood alone by his father's grave. It was a bright, sunny afternoon, and he could hear the birds chirping all around him. Still, even on a warm, happy day like today, he felt...torn. Like a piece of him was missing. Perhaps that piece lay beneath the soft brown earth underneath him. Or perhaps..he had never been together in the first place. He couldn't quite figure out when he had lost that piece..but it didn't matter now. He was confident he'd never find that missing piece. He looked far off in the distance as the wind blew his hair. Then, he bent over to place flowers on his father's grave.

"Rest in peace, father," were his last words before walking away.

* * *

The next day, at practice, nearly everyone could tell something wasn't right. That morning had started off well enough. Like yesterday, it was cloudless and sunny, setting off a cheerful mood for most people. Everyone had arrived at practice on time, so that meant no running laps for being late, which only succeeded in lifting everyone's spirits. At first, no one noticed the change in their stoic buchou. Oishi, being Tezuka's best friend, was really the first one to even see that something was wrong.

"Tezuka? Is everything okay?" Asked the worried boy.

Tezuka simply nodded, which did not completely satisfy Oishi, but he left it at that. He wouldn't want to interfere with Tezuka's personal affairs, anyhow. He just casted another worried glance at his best friend, then walked off to find his Golden Pair partner.

Tezuka almost let out a sigh of relief. Oishi had almost figured out his secret.. Something that, Tezuka could never let happen. _No one_ could ever know how he truly felt.. He wouldn't allow it. Tezuka had never been an open person, hiding and sealing his emotions deep within him. He had never before worried about someone getting in-- for he knew he was an expert at keeping everyone out. But today was an exception. Today had been the day his father died, the memory which would haunt him forever. The memory that would scar him forever...

"Oi! Buchou! What're you daydreaming about?"

Tezuka's head snapped up to see the curious face of Momoshiro staring back at him.

"Twenty laps, now," Tezuka spat at him.

Momo looked taken aback. Well, he had just learned that buchou was in a very bad mood today. He sighed, then shot a fierce look at the boy behind him.

"Echizen! Look what you did! Now I have to run twenty laps! You had to just _make_ me ask him.."

Ryoma smirked at the fuming boy. "Mada mada dane, I didn't _make_ you do anything. I just told you to. You didn't have to, you know."

Momo muttered something about Ryoma being 'too persuasive', and then started to run his laps.

Once more, Ryoma smirked. How he loved to press his sempai's buttons!

Tezuka glanced at Momo as he ran his laps, and realized he had been spacing out, which was something he just could not do. If he did, people would suspect something.. Tezuka sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. This particular date must just be his unlucky day, for he realized that every year on this day something would go wrong.

'Maybe today I should just take it easy...,' he thought shakily. 'Relaxation... Yes, that sounds good...'

"Tezuka-buchou, you don't look so good, nya!"

Tezuka good almost feel his eye twitching when he heard the bouncing voice of Eiji. Kami, why couldn't everyone just leave him alone!

"Twenty laps, Eiji. Now."

The redhead groaned loudly, and opened his mouth to protest, but thought the better of it. Today was NOT the day to talk back to Tezuka, and he certainly didn't want anymore laps. With that, Eiji joined Momoshiro in running twenty laps.

'Kami, do I really look that obvious?' Tezuka thought bitterly. For some reason, things seemed to be bothering him more than usual today. Of course, it was only naturally that he would be troubled on the anniversary of his father's death, but why did he seem to be so..so.. Argh, he couldn't even think of the word to describe his emotions today. Anxious? Troubled? Hurt? Tezuka frantically searched his mind for the right word.

All his life, Tezuka had been seemingly emotionless. Never _emotional. _So why all the sudden did he fell as if he was about to explode? Tezuka grunted, growing more and more frustrated with himself.

Tezuka was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a soft voice call his name. He looked up to see none other than Fuji Syusuke.

"Fuji," Tezuka stated impassively. "What do you want?"

Fuji chuckled, then smiled that always gentle smile. "Well, Tezuka, you just seem so tense. Even the most negligent observer can see that there is something troubling you."

These words only made Tezuka angrier. How dare he let out any kind of hint of his emotions!

"There is nothing troubling me. Now, run-"

"Twenty laps?" Fuji laughed. "Alright, Tezuka. But please, know that if there is anything troubling you, and if there ever is.. I'm here."

Syusuke was in mid-way of turning and walking away when Tezuka rasped, "Wait." Fuji froze, turning back around to face Tezuka.

"Yes?"

Tezuka swallowed hard, not even sure of what he wanted to say or even why he wanted to say it. "Nothing," he said quickly. "Nothing."

Syusuke smiled once more, and nodded his head. That having been said, the tensai began to jog nonchalantly with Eiji. ( Momo had already finished his laps).

Kunimitsu put his head in his hands, gently rubbing his temples. Why had he told Fuji to wait? Was he really that desperately in need of someone to talk to?

'Then again, it would be kind of nice...to have someone to talk to, to have someone hold me and tell me everything will be alright... Wait, what the hell am I thinking! Fuji is _just _my friend and teammate. Nothing more, nothing less. Besides, he thought dryly, he only offered to talk to me. Not hold me..'

Tezuka shook his head, his own thoughts bothering him slightly.

'Where is my damn tennis bag?' he thought, agitated. 'I believe there are some kind of stress pills in there..'

As he dug through his tennis bag, he finally came to a conclusion with himself. Perhaps..he would take Fuji's offer. It might drive him crazy until he did, anyway. Yes, after practice.. he would talk to Fuji. As much as he hated it, he knew it would do him some good to talk to somebody. It couldn't be healthy being stressed like this. Maybe it would take some of the weight of his shoulders and he could concentrate on more important things better.

* * *

The day's practice had finally come to an end, thank goodness. It had seemed to take forever to Tezuka. Of course, he knew that was because he wanted it to end soon so badly. But now, Tezuka had became quickly nervous. He sorta wished practice would last at least another hour or so, that way, the talk he was going to have with Fuji would be farther away...

"Fuji," Tezuka called to him, catching him right before he had exited the courts.

"Yes, Tezuka?" Fuji asked, looking him right in the eye with his own piercing blue orbs.

"I.. have decided..that I would like to take your offer." Tezuka chose his words very slowly and carefully. "I..wish to talk to you. Alone," he added, after seeing Eiji look curiously at him and his friend. Eiji seemed to get the picture, and yelled to Fuji that he would see him later.

"That's good," Syusuke commented cheerfully. "What do you want to talk about?" Tezuka motioned for Syusuke to sit down, and he did, right beside Kunimitsu.

The buchou cleared his throat nervously. "You said..that I looked as if something was troubling me, may I ask how exactly could you tell?"

"Your eyes," the tensai stated simply.

"My eyes," Tezuka repeated slowly. "How exactly could you tell just by my eyes?"

"Well, I've noticed that every emotion a person feels can be displayed in their eyes," Fuji explained. "Whether they want it to or not, whether they know it or not. You just can't hide it, no matter how hard you try. The emotions you feel are always in your eyes."

Tezuka was slightly stunned. After all these years of trying so desperately to hide his feelings, this golden-haired boy just now tells him it is impossible to hide his emotions for they will always be conveyed in his eyes. At first, Tezuka became angry. Then, a thought struck him: Was this theory perhaps why Syusuke had his eyes closed most of the time? Tezuka decided to test his discovery.

"Tell me, Fuji. Is this why you always keep your eyes closed, so no one will know how you really feel?"

The always smiling tensai was shocked. His cerulean eyes opened wide in surprise as he gazed at Tezuka. For once, Fuji had no idea what to say.

"Well?"

Syusuke cleared his throat, then pasted his smile back on. "Tezuka, I thought we were here to talk about you. Not me."

"Just answer the question, then we can resume our conversation."

"I will answer _after_ you tell me what's bothering you," Fuji responded calmly.

Tezuka decided that was fair enough. Now came the hard part. "Fuji..."

"Just say it. Don't worry; I won't laugh, or think any differently of you than I did before we had this discussion."

This statement comforted Tezuka a little, but not much. He had never been an open person.. It wasn't like he could just come out with his feelings all the sudden. "Fuji, just forget it. You can leave."

With this, Fuji frowned. "No, I won't leave until you tell me what's wrong."

"I can't. Now just go. Forget we even had this conversation."

"I'm sorry, Tezuka, but I can't. This is my chance to see what lies behind the cold mask, and I'm not just going to throw that away."

The buchou raised an eyebrow. "Cold mask? Fuji, just go home and we can-"

"No!"

Tezuka's hazel orbs widened in surprise. He had never seen Fuji so serious, except on the tennis courts. "Fuji, why is this so important to you?" Tezuka questioned him softly.

"Because Tezuka, I always knew there was something more to you than meets the eye. I want to find out what that is. Besides, you are my _friend._ I can't just simply leave you here alone, hurting inside," Fuji answered gently. "And if I left you alone to suffer, I wouldn't be a very good friend, now would I?"

Tezuka sighed, not knowing how to convince Fuji to go home. "Fuji, I'm not hurting inside nor am I suffering. And you-"

"Don't lie, Tezuka," Fuji said, his voice whispery. "It's all in your eyes, remember?"

"Yes..I remember." After conflicting with himself for the longest time, he finally decided to give into Fuji and tell him what was bothering him.

**Flashback: **

_Seven-year-old Tezuka sat up in his bed, rubbing his eyes sleepily. Outside his room, he could hear crying, and what sounded like his Okaa-san's shaky voice. He climbed drowsily out of bed to see what the cause of all the ruckus was. _

_"Okaa-san?" Tezuka whispered, looking around for her. "Where are you?" _

_Tezuka ran over to the woman that layed sprawled across the floor, sobbing. _

_"Okaa-san?" He asked, tugging at her sleeve. "What's wrong?" _

_His Okaa-san stared up at him with tears in her eyes, her weeping not stopping. She wrapped her arms around him warmly, and smoothed out his messy brown hair. _

_"K-Kunimitsu...," she whispered shakily. "Your..father..has been killed in an accident.."_

_Tezuka pushed her away, glaring at her fiercly. "That's a lie! You're lying!" _

_This only made her cry harder. "No, honey..I..I'm sorry," she choked. _

_The young Tezuka could slowly feel his heart ripping, piece by tiny piece. His father...they had always been so close. His father always made him laugh when he was having a bad day; His father was always willing to talk to him when he was feeling down; His father was always there.. _

_"No..," Tezuka whispered, his heart aching painfully. "Why? Daddy, why did you leave me? Today, right before you left to go somewhere, you promised you'd carry me to park tomorrow.. But how will you carry me if you're dead?" _

**End flashback **

"Your..father was killed when you were seven?" Fuji asked, his voice gentle.

Tezuka nodded. "But it doesn't matter now, Fuji. That was a long time ago. However, you wanted to know what was bothering me, so, I told you. There."

Fuji smiled gently, and closed his eyes. "Arigatou, Tezuka. But..somehow, I don't think that's all that's bothering you."

Kunimitsu had looked away, and was now shuffling through his tennis bag. "That was all that was bothering me," he told Fuji, without looking up.

"Why do you think it still bothers you?"

Tezuka froze, his eyes staring into his tennis bag. "It doesn't bother me every day; Just today, after all, today was the date he was killed."

"Ah."

For a few minutes, there was an awkward silence between the two. Then, Tezuka stood up.

"I'm going home. See you tomorrow, Fuji." Tezuka had turned to leave but Fuji grabbed his hand.

"Don't go," Fuji whispered.

For some reason, Tezuka's heart began beating loudly in his chest when Fuji had grabbed his hand. Tezuka turned around to look Fuji straight in the face.

"What?"

"Are you empty, Tezuka?" Fuji asked quietly. "Is that why your father's death hurt you so badly? Because he was all you had?"

Tezuka stared at the honey-haired boy in shock. Then, realization hit him like a ton of bricks. Fuji had just said the word he had been searching his mind for.. The word to describe how he felt inside. Empty.

"I had my mother," Tezuka answered stiffly.

"Yes but..she wasn't as kind to you as your father was, was she?"

Oh, Fuji was _good._ Tezuka knew then that Fuji truly _is_ a prodigy. How else could he have read Tezuka like a book, when no one, not even his family or closest friend, could? Tezuka was brought out of his thoughts when he heard the boy laughing bitterly.

"What is so funny?" Tezuka questioned him, emotionlessly.

"It's just that..Tezuka, you and I are more alike than you think."

Now, Tezuka wasn't expected that statement. Not like he could ever truly predict what Fuji said anyway, but..

"What do you mean by that exactly?"

"Well, Tezuka, you see..I always thought you and I had something in common, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. At first, I thought it was our skills in tennis. We both play well, so that seemed like a logical comparison to me. But then..I realized, it wasn't that. We didn't exactly act alike..so it couldn't be our personalities. I tried so hard to figured out how we were alike all this time, and I was too blind to see it."

"To..see what?" Tezuka asked, his eyes scanning Syusuke's face.

"To see that..how we are alike..is that we both feel the same. We both have this emptiness we can't get rid of, and that we can't even figure out why we have it. We both hide it, you by showing no emotion or expression on your face, and me by hiding behind a facade. We were both too afraid to admit to ourselves that we are running..running from our problems. Problems that, neither of us can escape."

Tezuka took time to let this all sink in, before responding, "I have no problems."

This, also seemed to amuse Fuji, for he laughed. "Tezuka, _everyone_ has problems. And Tezuka... you..nor I, can keep running. It will all catch up to us eventually.." 

"And Tezuka..you..nor I, can keep running. It will all catch up to us eventually..." Those words rang in Tezuka's head. Without even thinking about it, Tezuka knew Fuji was right. But..if he couldn't run..where could he go?

"Fuji..I demand we drop this subject. Or you will be runaning so many laps tomorrow you will be sore."

For the third time, Syusuke laughed, but this time, it was a very bitter laugh. "Yes, Tezuka...alright. I will drop the subject. I'm sorry for getting into your problems. I will leave now. See you tomorrow." Syusuke stood up and slung his tennis bag over his shoulder. With a polite nod of his head, he began to walk away.

"Fuji..," Tezuka said weakly. Syusuke stopped, and turned just his head to look at Tezuka. He waited, not saying anything. Tezuka took this as his cue to speak.

"Just..exactly what was the point in telling me all this? What good did it do? So, what if I can't run anymore? What am I supposed to do..?"

Smiling happily, Syusuke turned all the way around and strolled over to Tezuka. "I was hoping you'd ask that.." Syusuke whispered. "Tezuka..if you would allow me to, I can help you feel that emptiness inside of you..if you're willing to let me.."

Kunimitsu nearly couldn't believe his ears. Did Fuji just say what he thought he said? His heart began to strum quicker against his rib cage. Tezuka realized that Syusuke was now standing very close to him, closer than usual.

"Yes, Syusuke..I accept your offer once more," Tezuka breathed, leaning towards Syusuke.

"You called me Syusuke," the tensai said softly. He had opened to say something else, when Tezuka's lips gently touched his own. Syusuke's eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly melted against him. Their kiss was soft and sweet, but it left both boys breathless. Tezuka _would_ allow Syusuke to fill that emptiness inside of him, and in return, he would fill Syusuke's emptiness. Their relationship may not have been the best one, but they both understood each other in a way no one else could. Tezuka could feel his heart swell with happiness for the first time in a long time, and he felt complete. Like he wasn't missing any pieces, and he was whole, not torn.

* * *

A/N: Wow,so it's finally finished! Please R&R! I really want to know how it is. Oh, and, before I forget..Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis. I don't really know if Tezuka's father is still alive, or if he died, how he was killed. This is just pure imagination. 


End file.
